Dating lost spark

You’ve both got to be outright enthusiastic about seeing each other – otherwise what’s the point?Manson’s system is purposefully simplistic and straightforward, but I’ve never found a simple system I couldn’t needlessly over-complicate. It sounds obvious – you should, in an ideal world, find your prospective partner physically attractive.

Now, I say this as someone who is positively awful at small talk and dreads talking to strangers. I get that sometimes you’re always going to struggle to find something witty to say or naturally segue to a new topic.

Not when they crack a good joke (though hopefully then), or when they tell you they really like that shirt you were already regretting wearing (though then too would be good), but after all that, when you’ve gone your separate ways.

When you have a parting kiss and walk in opposite directions, do you find a little grin sneaking onto your face whether you can help it or not? If you just shrug and move on, already thinking about work in the morning, or which episode of Better Call Saul you got up to last night, that’s a bit of a hint from your subconscious: there’s no real spark there.

It’s the umm-ing and ahh-ing about which shirt to wear, the momentary panic when you think you might have sprayed too much cologne, whether the restaurant you picked is up to snuff, that little nagging fear that you’re going to say some dumb thing at some point, because that’s what you do, and you’re going to ruin this whole thing. If they’re a ‘Fuck Yes’, then you’ll always be looking forward to the next time you see each other.

If something comes up last-minute and they have to cancel, you’ll be totally disappointed, scrambling to find a chance to re-schedule.

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